When Love and Legacy Collide: Estate Disputes in Blended Families
When John and Jill remarried, each brought children from a previous marriage. They trusted each other completely and thought a simple arrangement would do: “Everything to each other, then to our own children.”
Years later, John passed away. Jill inherited everything. She eventually needed full-time rest home care, and the cost steadily consumed what John had left her. When Jill died, her will left what remained to her own children. John’s children received nothing.
It wasn’t what either of them had intended — but their well-meaning simplicity created a heartbreaking result.
Why blended families are so vulnerable
Estate disputes are becoming more common in New Zealand, and blended families are at the centre of many of them.
Without careful structuring, your wishes can easily be changed or challenged after you die.
Common triggers include:
Children feel excluded when a stepparent inherits everything.
Uneven financial needs between the two sides of the family.
Confusion or conflict between what the will says and what the family expected.
New relationships formed by the survivor, shifting loyalties or intentions.
Ways to protect everyone — and your intentions
There are several ways to make sure your wishes are respected while still providing for your partner:
Fixed-interest or life-interest Trusts:
These allow your partner’s welfare to be provided for after you pass away — for example, by allowing your partner to continue living in the family home or receiving income — but ensuring that the Trust capital is divided in fixed proportions between your respective families after your partner’s passing.Life-interest wills:
A similar version of the above, where your partner has the use of the family home and is cared for during their lifetime, but cannot be redirected elsewhere.Mutual wills:
These are binding wills agreed between you and your partner that neither can change without the other’s consent.Contracting out agreements:
These set clear boundaries on ownership and inheritance under relationship property law — crucial if you want to keep what you brought into the relationship separate, or to ensure fairness between your children.
The real goal
Good planning doesn’t mean a lack of trust. It means clarity — protecting both your partner and your family from pain, legal costs, and broken relationships.
Take the first step now
If you’re in a blended family, don’t leave your intentions up in the air. We can help you:
Review your current wills and/or Trusts;
Identify risks; and
Implement the right protections for your specific situation.
